sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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