Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
