gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
