we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
