She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm always down for nudity.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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