Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
