she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
