I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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