Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
