Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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