is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
only if we run a train.
done.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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