Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
