i just google imaged poop.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
