dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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