When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
