i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
its not stalking. its research.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
