So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
