he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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