also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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