I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
