you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
