I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
