i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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