i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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