It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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