dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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