We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
This gyro tastes like lonliness
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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