Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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