I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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