This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
