like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
