farters have to be the big spoon...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize