Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
