did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
