Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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