$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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