the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
