Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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