apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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