so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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