ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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