new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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