oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The ass gains better be worth it
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