I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
