Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
