we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Randomize
