do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
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Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
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