thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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