It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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