I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
