have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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