She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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