I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
