Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
