Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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