i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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