Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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