It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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