is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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