Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
