"it" just moved
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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